


Oh, the Irony

by morallygreywaren (DontDrinkColdCoffee)



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Bickering, Blue is pretty done with it, Competitive Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Gansey also thinks Ronan and Adam are fighting, Gansey is living in his own Gansey-world, Hilarious, Ice Cream, M/M, Movie Night, Noah is a Little Shit, Old Married Couple, Teasing, Toothpaste Kisses, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-11 01:40:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4416197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontDrinkColdCoffee/pseuds/morallygreywaren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>How long could you flirt with someone ironically before the only irony were your own feelings?</em>
</p><p>Adam and Ronan are arguing again. But more like bickering. Actually, they are flirting. But only ironically, of course. Not like anybody has feelings here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, the Irony

**Author's Note:**

> There was so much angst getting thrown around in this fandom, I just felt like I needed to write something cute and fluffy with no angst, no hard feelings and an extreme amount of bickering.
> 
> Just bros being bros. Just, you know. Not really.

Blue, Gansey and Noah were already sitting at their usual table at Nino’s when Adam and Ronan finally showed up, heated discussion in full swing.

“No Ronan, a windshield wiper should go _swish-swish-flack_ not _swish-flack-swish-flack_ ,” Adam said just as they got into earshot.

“But that doesn’t make any sense ergonomically.”

Gansey closed his eyes and slid his knees slightly forward, so that one of Blue’s legs was captured between his.

“Please tell me they aren’t fighting again,” he sighed.

“Well, back in my day we called that bickering, but it’s a close call, I guess.” Ever since Professor Malory had left for England Noah had adopted most of his mannerisms, much to everyone’s chagrin.

Ronan and Adam nodded to the others in greeting before sitting down opposite each other and continuing without a beat.

“Look, I’ve been at Byron’s for, what, four years now? Don’t you think I would know what kind of noise they are supposed to make?”

To Blue’s surprise, the look on Adam’s face was only slightly exasperated, and there even was a hint of a smile on his face as Ronan merely raised an eyebrow at him. It was a pretty stupid argument though.

“What he taught you they were supposed to make. Don’t you think they would work better if-“

“You done there?” Blue interrupted with an angry sort of smile before they got fully into it and Gansey’s head would burst from pent-up information about Gwenllian he couldn’t share out of politeness.

They both just turned to look at her as if she had grown a second head, muttering that she just didn’t understand the importance of windshield wipers. Which, right, she didn’t.

They ordered ice-cream and let Gansey push a heavy tome to the middle of the table.

“I fully understand that Gwenllian has been grating on everybody’s nerves lately-“ Blue and Adam made noises at the back of their throats that sounded dangerously close to scoffs, “but I believe she might be able to lead us closer to Glendower, not just because she’s his daughter. It says here that even when she was alive, she was known for talking in riddles, and that there were three of her handmaidens, who were the only ones always able to understand her, who have put together a book for those ‘worthy to see her truth’.”

Their ice-cream arrived and Blue pulled the book towards her.

“But how did they put the book together?” she asked, “I thought handmaidens weren’t taught how to write and read in the middle ages.”

Ronan’s eyebrows shot across his forehead. “Was it really you who just said that?”

Blue scowled. He shook his head. “Wow.”

“Just because I don’t approve of a historic fact doesn’t make it less true,” she said and pushed the book back to Gansey, waiting for an answer to her question.

He smiled at her. “See, and this just might warm you to Gwenllian – she took it upon herself to teach them.”

Blue made an appreciative noise but got distracted as she saw Adam pushing his ice-cream to the middle of the table so that Ronan could have some of it before reaching over and getting Ronan’s waffle out of his whipped cream without even exchanging a word.

She was not the only one, Gansey had also stopped mid-breath.

“What?” Adam said after he’d swallowed a bite of the waffle, “I don’t like vanilla.”

Noah began to snicker and flickered out for a second as Adam and Ronan both tried to kick him under the table. Their feet touched when they sat them back on the ground and they left it that way.

“You’ve got some cream there,” Ronan said and pressed a napkin into Adam’s hand, gesturing at his face.

Blue shook her head. “You’re worse than any old married couple,” she said.

Adam froze almost unnoticeably before meeting Ronan’s eyes. They weren’t dating. They were… well, friends, because they were both Gansey’s best friend. Friends who spent a lot of time without their best friend.

Ronan’s expression changed to one of gleeful malice and it was the dip of his eyebrows that seemed to say _you’re on, Parrish_.

Adam smirked into his waffle and shook his head.

~

In Adam’s opinion, there was only so much time that you could spend with another person and maintain your crush on them. There might have been something somewhere that he had read in Ronan’s stares and casual touches, but then they had framed a murderer for various acts of gory pedophilia, had a few movie nights at the Barns together and went on random daytrips with Mr Gray, and Adam was pretty sure that at some point, any feelings Ronan might have had for him had sort of subsided into… brotherly friendship. The Gansey kind.

There was the tiniest part of him that had started imagining it, what it would be like to do… _other stuff_ with Ronan, just reach out across his mattress and touch him, hold his hand in Cabeswater, snuggle closer to him on the couch. He had grown comfortable with the idea that Ronan might want him, but it was this comfortability that convinced him that there couldn’t be any of these feelings anymore.

A crush was about excitement, fluttery stomachs and the like. Ronan and him were like an old, well-oiled machine that ran after its own peculiar clockwork by now.

So maybe it had been his fault when they ironically started flirting with each other. But then, it was Ronan who never refused a challenge, and what, really, was a bit of teasing when the other gave as good as he got?

~

It started with small things.

The three of them sat in the cafeteria at Aglionby for lunch in comfortable silence, Gansey and Adam both with their noses in a book and Ronan listening to music on one earbud, when he got up to get a little more salt for his fries.

Adam looked up at him and put on a smile that was way too sugary sweet to be real.

“Can you bring me a napkin, please?” he said and batted his lashes, something so entirely uncharacteristic that Ronan wasn’t sure whether to laugh or roll his eyes.

He settled for the latter and pasted a toothy smile on his face as well.

“But everything for you, my dear,” he replied and tugged his hand through Adam’s hair in passing like he might have done with Matthew, making sure that most of it landed in Adam’s eyes.

“Thanks, darling.” Adam didn’t even bat an eyelash, just lightly smacked his ass and grinned at him mischievously when he turned around to glare. Ronan was almost sure he had slipped into his Henrietta accent on purpose, but if so, did he _know_ what it did to Ronan’s insides? Probably not. Bastard.

He gave in to the eye roll, went to get salt and napkin and only distantly heard Gansey tell Adam: “That was a traumatic experience.”

He smiled to himself.

~

After Maura had insisted for the 1000th time that they should do something like “normal teenagers”, Blue had invited the three of them for a movie night in their backyard.

They had popcorn, chips, various sodas and Calla had even offered to make them drinks (an offer only Ronan had enthusiastically accepted), so Adam was beginning to see that the only problem lay in choosing a movie to watch.

“A musical?” Gansey asked with his mouth almost comically pulled into an incredulous line as Blue held up _Grease_.

“Have you never watched Disney movies when you were younger? The singing makes it better, trust me! And they have a girl gang.”

The three boys furrowed their brows. “I always wanted to be in a girl gang,” Blue said.

“So where’s your leather jacket?” Ronan asked and grinned at her. Blue rolled her eyes.

In the meantime, Gansey had snatched up the box with the DVDs and held up _Casino Royale_.

Adam shrugged. He liked a good Bond. Blue’s face fell. “That misogynistic piece of crap?” She crossed her arms. “I have no idea why we even have that!”

Ronan made a coughing sound that could’ve easily been mistaken for ' _Calla_ ' if you listened closely. Adam smiled at him, hoping Blue wouldn’t get the feeling they were all ganging up on her and kick them out.

“How about _Harry Potter_?” he asked.

“Which one?” Blue asked, “We only have the first and the fifth.”

Adam tried not to wince and pulled the box back towards him.

“Shouldn’t we first decide which genre we’d be going for?” Gansey asked. “I mean, I don’t think anybody would be up for French arthouse films, but there are good British comedies-“

Blue interrupted him and they started arguing about Gansey’s pretentiousness. Ronan just watched from the sidelines as if he couldn’t care less.

“Only the first and fifth Harry Potter movie,” Adam muttered more to himself as he turned back to the box, “that’s like buying a box of only yellow skittles.”

“Can’t judge,” Ronan shrugged and took a sip of his beer, “never watched ‘em.”

Adam stopped in his tracks and stared at him. “What?”

“Also didn’t read the books.” That Ronan still had the audacity to smile was almost infuriating.

He was speechless for a second. “…How?”

“It is possible to grow up with real fairy tales, you know?” Ronan shrugged.

Adam shook his head. “I can’t believe this. One of these days I’m gonna tie you to a chair and make you watch all eight of them with me.”

He looked up only for a second but it was enough to catch how stoic Ronan’s expression turned there before the savage smile was back in place.

“Bust my ass in COD and you’re on, Parrish.” He took a gulp from his beer but never his eyes off of Adam.

“Deal,” Adam smiled.

“Okay, Jane and I can’t seem to agree on this, are there any more suggestions from you?” Gansey said and turned around to them.

“Of course,” Ronan said and slid a film out of the box, “I heard _Magic Mike_ had a really interesting story line, don’t you agree, Blue?”

The relish on Ronan’s face as he took in Blue’s embarrassed scowl and Gansey’s confusion – who had once again no idea what it was about – almost made Adam laugh. But when Ronan’s gaze finally landed on him, all he could do was blush.

~

“We’ll just do it like last time,” Adam had said, “Ronan and I go in first and secure the way for you.”

Reluctantly, Gansey and Blue had agreed to let their magicians do their work before it was safe to set foot in yet another cave in Cabeswater.

And this was how Ronan found himself standing next to Adam on top of a hole in the ground, chained together by a rope, peering into the darkness.

“Endless depths,” Adam said, slightly shaking his head, “Incredible, isn’t it?”

Ronan glanced up at him, the light of the flashlights they had on their foreheads casting strange shadows across Adam’s cheekbones. Almost like he imagined his tattoo must look like, if it could move.

“Well then, in you go,” he said and jostled Adam with his shoulder.

“What? Why me?” Adam was aghast.

“Well, you’re supposed to be the deep one here, Einstein. Come on.”

Ronan tightened his grip on his part of the rope before shoving him lightly. Adam lost his balance and tumbled forward into the hole, catching himself with a sucked in breath and slowly turned around to face Ronan again, now from under his feet.

“God, I hate you for this,” he sighed.

“Bullshit, everybody loves a bit of Lynch.” Ronan smirked and started to loosen his grip on the rope little by little, so that Adam could start cascading downwards.

Adam smiled up at him and gave him a half shrug that Ronan almost missed in the darkness. “Can’t argue with that.”

Ronan stopped short in giving him rope, to baffled by the answer. This was not how this usually went.

Some part of his brain recognised that for some odd reason it seemed to make Adam extremely happy to rile him up by incessantly flirting with him lately, and on purpose at that. He had always been better at putting words to Ronan’s truths, made them mean something in this strange world they were living in.

Ronan could’ve sworn Adam would answer something like “You wish,” or “Dream on,” following his grand plan of helping Ronan get over him. _As if that was possible._  

But Adam held his stare until the skin at Ronan’s neck felt unbearably prickly, and swallowed.

“Well,” he said, “Declan is pretty sexy.”

Great save or not, the only response Ronan felt capable of was letting go of a good bit of rope until Adam’s face was swallowed in the shadows, then he gripped it again.

“Hey man, it’s my life on the line here!” Adam complained from down below, slight shock and amusement mixed in his voice.

“Well, fuck me, Parrish,” Ronan growled back. He didn’t know if he was supposed to be angry, or if he was allowed to be angry. Sometimes all his emotions felt like anger.

“Maybe later, I think I’ve touched ground,” came the response from down below. Ronan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _Just stop it already, Adam. I can’t help it, I’m sorry._

He would need a lot of strength to get through this day.

~

It turned out that the hole in the ground was exactly that: a hole, and although Adam had hit ground, the way should lead past the hole and not into it like the last time.

So they had all gone back to Monmouth, and because the events of the day had been so disappointing, they even agreed when Gansey offered to order pizza for everyone instead of going out to Nino’s.

When Adam woke up the next morning, he felt disoriented for a moment and wondered why his room looked so strange and if he had accidentally woken up in Cabeswater this time, but then he realised he had merely fallen asleep on the couch in Monmouth – something he had sworn himself would never happen.

He sighed and picked himself up, tip-toed past a sleeping Gansey and snuck into the bathroom. He figured it’d be okay to use the toilet and brush his teeth.

But just as he was about to splash some water in his face, the door got yanked open and a shirtless Ronan Lynch walked into the kitchen/bathroom. Or not just shirtless, from what Adam could make out he was wearing little less than a towel.

“Morning,” he said and strutted past Adam straight to the shower.

Adam couldn’t help himself. “Mmh, sexy,” he said around his toothbrush, which made it harder to maintain a sarcastic undertone, but he hoped it still worked.

The great thing about sarcasm was that it usually worked best when you said what you really meant.

Ronan turned to him and cocked his head, eyes turning from sleepy to awake all of a sudden.

“Come off it, Parrish, you know you’d tap that.”

Adam stopped moving the toothbrush in his mouth, realising it hung slightly agape. Ronan was standing – basically naked – right in front of him and whatever game it was they were playing, Adam felt like he had suddenly lost. He should’ve said something to that. He should’ve said something right away instead of getting flustered.

Ronan rolled his eyes, “You have five minutes to come up with a comeback while I take a shower.” He stepped behind the curtain and flung the towel over it, leaving Adam to contemplate in silence.

How long could you flirt with someone ironically before the only irony were your own feelings?

As the room steamed up from the shower, the mirror revealed a message Noah had left there the night before. _I’d tap that, too ;)_

The blush that spread over Adam’s cheeks at that was completely unnecessary. He spit out the foam just as Ronan turned off the shower and snatched up the towel. His eyes widened in shock and he quickly pulled down his sleeve to wipe off the fogged up mirror before Ronan joined him next to it and started brushing his teeth.

He caught his eye in the mirror and while Ronan had a perfectly reasonable excuse for this – he was brushing his teeth after all – Adam did not. Adam was just staring, not even at the tiny drops of glistening water in Ronan’s buzzcut or the ones running down his chest, he was simply caught by Ronan’s levelling stare and how he seemed to look right through him and pull any aces Adam might have had up his sleeve away.

He shook his head to clear his mind and decided to wash his face again for good measure. When he came back up to look at the mirror again – just himself this time – Ronan was finished brushing his teeth and bumped their hips.

“Move over, Parrish, you’re pretty enough.”

“Pretty to whom?” Adam swallowed. It had been out before he could stop himself, before the thought that raising his eyebrow at Ronan this early in the morning could easily be seen as provocation, not just… whatever.

But Ronan simply turned to him and smiled his tiny, secretive smile back. “To me,” he whispered, and Adam knew he would forever be embarrassed by how these two words had melted his heart and himself into Ronan’s arms and his taste of toothpaste.

His morning stubble tickled Adam’s chin and he smiled into the kiss as he dared to drape his arms around Ronan’s neck, pressing close but careful to leave the towel in place.

Ronan’s eyelashes fluttered on his cheeks, and he had never been more attracted to him than at this moment, when all of Ronan’s sharp edges became warmth and gentle touches and soft lips on his.

“Are we still doing this ironically?”, he whispered without moving away, curling his finger into the tiny hairs above Ronan’s neck and feeling him shiver against him, so he kept doing it.

“Parrish,” Ronan said, his fingers moving up under Adam’s shirt to the small of his back, “the only thing I have ever said ironically in my life was _I am always straight_ and even then you knew better.”

His eyes snapped open, so close that Adam could see that the rings around the irises resembled cornflowers, and his laugh got stuck in his throat.

He could’ve swallowed it. He chose to kiss Ronan again.

~

“Noah?” Gansey said outside of the bathroom, “Has Adam already left?”

Noah was lounging on the billiard table and chewing on a spoon. “Nah, he’s in there with Ronan.”

“With Ronan?”, Gansey furrowed his brows, “Are they fighting again?”

Noah leaned back on the table and took the spoon out of his mouth. “I already told you what I think about that. But why don’t you go in and have a look for yourself?”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if this makes me a bad writer, but yes, all of these scenarios are 100% real life inspired. (sans the supernatural stuff. My life's not that cool.)
> 
> I have another [rather long TRC fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5324027) and a [short one](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4574976), if you're looking for more ;)
> 
>  
> 
> I'm [pynchie](www.pynchie.tumblr.com/ask) on tumblr, come say hi or drop me a line in the comments if you liked this one!


End file.
